For chef (and mom) Monique Feybesse, you can have your pastry and eat it, too
Ask just about any foodservice professional if they’ve achieved work-life balance, and they might just laugh in your face – any foodservice professional but chef Monique Feybesse, that is.
The Bay-Area based Feybesse, a “Top Chef” alum who along with her husband, Paul, runs the James Beard Award-nominated patisserie Tarts de Feybesse, sets an example for other working-mom chefs, juggling parenthood and pastry with intention .
“Yes, it's hard as a chef, as a mom of three, but it is attainable,” she says. “You don't have to lose sight of what you want in life.”
Feybesse knew what she wanted from childhood, enrolling at California Culinary Academy right out of high school, inspired by her Filipino-American family’s love for cooking and her sights set on a career in fine dining.
Like many classically trained young chefs, she spent years moving up the ranks in kitchens throughout the U.S. and Europe. And like many young women in the field, she had to prove herself at every stop along the way.
“They just talk down to you until you show them what you can do,” she says, “and I've loved and hated that. I've always expected it. But I've always loved when you can show them what you can do and reverse their thought process of who you are as a person and as a worker.”
Though fulfilling, the foodservice industry of Feybesse’s early career was one of cutthroat culture and long hours. “It was respected if you were a workaholic or you worked yourself down to the bone,” she remembers. “That was the way you succeeded.”
Despite “thriving” in that environment, she recognizes that it’s changed, in many cases for the better. Culinary school is no longer a barrier to entry.
“You just need to want to learn,” she adds. “That's the most important thing. I can train anyone. Even when I hire now, we always put on our ads: No experience is needed.”
Those changes in the industry have shaped her approach to management. “You really have to gauge from person to person how they can thrive,” she says. “I like managing people in different styles because everyone needs something different in order to make them succeed. It's really cool just finding out what people like to do and what makes people stronger.”
The strong work ethic and attention to detail are still highly valued, but now, time management, not long hours, is a surer sign of a strong employee.
As a mom of three, Feybesse had already moved away from those long hours by the time the COVID-19 pandemic hit in early 2020. Back then, she was leading the culinary program at a Napa Valley winery, working a standard 8-5 schedule.
She and Paul had briefly operated a pastry business out of their home in 2016, selling through mouthwatering images on social media and word of mouth.
The venture soon took a backseat to their family, but Tarts de Feybesse was reborn when the foodservice industry shut down, first to feed their community and then as a full menu of elegant French breads and pastries with Filipino influences.
Soon, they were selling out daily, and both quit their day jobs to run the shop full-time. After sharing their creations at farmers markets for several years, the couple, who met while working at a Copenhagen restaurant in 2013, opened their first brick and mortar in fall 2024.
Despite neither having a pastry background, Monique and Paul bring an exceptional level of technique and detail to every item they sell. New recipes are sketched out, tested and tasted four or five times before they go out to the public.
Owning a business together also allows them to balance Tarts de Feybesse with their home life, each managing different parts of the business so they can spend more time with their kids.
Monique handles the back end of the business, while Paul handles the production side. She works mornings, while he does nights. They also are grateful to have family nearby for support and additional childcare.
“We try not to walk on each other. We have to work with each other,” she says. “There's certain boundaries that we have to have, since we've worked together for so long, that we've learned this along the way.”
The Feybesses, who are savory chefs at heart, talk about someday opening a fine dining restaurant. In the meantime, they still cook for private and pop-up dining events, where every detail, from the ingredients to the dinnerware, is thoughtfully selected.
“Yes, we can finalize the dish, but we need to work on what it's going to be served on,” she says. “The vessel is super important. We always have to finalize the plateware at least a week in advance.”
But for now, they’re at the top of their game, building the Tarts de Feybesse brand as they bring one-of-a-kind flavors to the people of Oakland and running their business on their own terms, so they can prioritize what’s most important.
Feybesse is proud of the example she and her husband are setting for her children, who are refining their palettes, learning an appreciation for hard work and being inspired to achieve their dreams – all while sampling some fabulous pastries.
“I want to show that work ethic to my family and to show them what it means to be successful as a mom and as an entrepreneur,” she says. “That's what fuels my passion for this every single day.”
